In recent months, I've seen a lot of articles popping up discussing the overwhelming sense of fatigue and burnout that most people, across the globe, seem to be feeling; pandemic fatigue. I'm not going to try and tackle such a huge subject here, but there is a component of it that I do want to talk about, one that actually brings me back to my blog-writing roots – discussing autism.
I had read about how in this new world of virtual meetings and social events (held over Zoom, MS Teams, Facetime, and countless other video conferencing platforms), people were complaining about how mentally draining these were. They were citing how being aware of all eyes being on you, of being able to see your own image and becoming hyperaware of how you were expressing yourself and appearing to others, was mentally exhausting, creating a sense of 'Zoom fatigue'.
Now for the past 349 days, the majority of meetings I have had have been on either Zoom or MS Teams (those that haven't have been voice calls, but they are in the minority), I haven't kept a record of the amount of time I have spent in video calls, but an educated guess would put it close to 500 hours.
And yet, I don't seem to be finding this as difficult as some of my colleagues. I hadn't put much thought into why, and then over the weekend I saw something online that answered the question I hadn't thought to ask.
Video meetings weren't having as much of a negative impact on me because that level of hyperawareness that people were reporting experiencing in virtual meetings was the level that I (and other autistic people) operate at. All the time. In any social situation.
In fact, I've realised that I prefer virtual meetings, because they actually limit what there is for me to focus on.
I am limited to how much of the other person I can see – so I don't have to be aware of as much body language.
They are limited to how much of me they see – so I am free to fidget and stim below the camera level and not worry about what others might think of me.
Even seeing myself on screen has a positive – I can see in real-time what my facial expression is conveying, and make corrections when appropriate, which reduces instances of misinterpretation that occur when I am unaware of my facial expressions and how they appear.
I know without a doubt that I would not have been able to attend the same number of meetings that I have been if they were not virtual – if I'd been expected to attend them in person, I would have been using a lot of energy, pushing myself closer and closer to burnout with each new meeting, because the 'Zoom fatigue' that other people are experiencing now is what I have been experiencing for my whole life.
I want to end this blog with two points;
Those of you feeling 'Zoom fatigue', struggling with the hyperawareness that comes with the virtual meetings, I see you, I know what you're going through, and if there is anything I can do to help you don't hesitate to ask – even if that means asking me if a virtual meeting with me could be done as an email instead.
Once we get through this pandemic and work begins to return to the age-old practices of in-person meetings, please don't forget how you have been feeling, keep that in mind when working with neurodiverse colleagues, and consider what adjustments you could make to ease their meeting fatigue.